Updated September 28, 2026 · FlingCue Editorial Team
FetLife vs SexyLib
FetLife vs SexyLib: the differences
| Compare |  FetLife | SexyLib ReviewVisitVisit |
|---|---|---|
| What is free | 99.9% free; paid support for nice-to-have extras | Free for women and couples; free messaging |
| Profile verification | Optional badge via government ID or profile photo | Optional profile certification with badge |
| Audience focus | Kink and fetish social network, not a dating site | Singles and couples seeking swinging encounters |
| Members | 13,071,441 members as of 2026-09-26 | 100K+ registered members (2026) |
| Privacy and data | No data sales; deletion erases all your data | No personal data collected, hosted in France |
| Categories | Fetish, Swinger | Swinger, Casual, Discreet |
| Monthly price from | Not confirmed | €4.99 |
| Plans | Not confirmed | Monthly premium from 4.99 EUR |
| Renewal and cancelling | Refunds within 7 days; no auto-renewal | Not confirmed |
We earn a commission when you sign up through links on this site. Partner status can affect where a brand appears in our rankings.
Key differences
- FetLife scores higher overall: 9.2 vs 9.0.
- Support channels: only FetLife offers Email, Help centre.
- Categories: only FetLife offers Fetish.
- Categories: only SexyLib offers Casual, Discreet.
Our verdict on each
FetLife
FetLife suits adults who want a kink and fetish community rather than a dating site, and it has 13,071,441 members as of 2026-09-26 members. It is nearly free, with paid support for nice-to-have extras, and privacy is stated plainly.
SexyLib
SexyLib suits adults who want a swinging focus with a free entry point for women and couples, and it is one of the cheaper premium options in that category. It scores 8.1 overall, with premium starting at €4.99 and messaging free.
Score breakdown
| Area | FetLife | SexyLib |
|---|---|---|
| Cost | Not confirmed | 9.6Premium starts at €4.99, under the site median of €14 and the swinger median of €12.95. |
| Offer | 9.5Higher | 8.2 |
| Trust | 8.9 | Not confirmed |
Where they rank in our lists
| Ranking | FetLife | SexyLib |
|---|---|---|
| Hookup sites and apps | 168 of 478 | 103 of 478 |
| Swinger and couples sites | 15 of 52 | 3 of 52 |
| Free hookup sites | 134 of 358 | 78 of 358 |
Side by side, item by item
| Categories | FetLife | SexyLib |
|---|---|---|
| Casual | No | Yes |
| Discreet | No | Yes |
| Fetish | Yes | No |
| Swinger | Yes | Yes |
Every fact side by side
| Fact | FetLife | SexyLib |
|---|---|---|
| Pricing model | Free | Free |
| Features | App, Verified profiles | App, Verified profiles |
| Legal entity | BitLove Inc. & BitLove Ltd. | Not confirmed |
| Headquarters | Canada | France |
| Founded | 2008 | Not confirmed |
| Support channels | Email, Help centre, CommunityCovers more | Community |
Where each stands against the rest
| Fact | FetLife | SexyLib | Median |
|---|---|---|---|
| Monthly price from | Not confirmed | €4.99below the median | €14 |
Median across 31 listed casual dating sites.
Pros and cons
FetLife
Pros
- 99.9% free; paid support for nice-to-have extras, so the core service stays free and payment covers nice-to-have extras
- Privacy is stated clearly: No data sales; deletion erases all your data
- Refunds within 7 days; no auto-renewal, so paid support does not renew on its own
Cons
- Kink and fetish social network, not a dating site means you are joining a social network, not a matching service
- Verification is opt in, so most profiles carry no checked badge
- Support runs on email, help centre and community only, with no phone line listed
SexyLib
Pros
- Women and couples get access at no cost and everyone gets free messaging (Free for women and couples; free messaging).
- Premium starts at €4.99, under the swinger category median of €12.95.
- A clear swinging focus in Singles and couples seeking swinging encounters, with discreet and casual niches listed.
Cons
- Profile certification is optional, so a badge appears on some profiles only.
- Support runs on community only, with no direct contact channel listed.
- Premium is the same single starting figure, with no cheaper trial tier listed alongside Monthly premium from 4.99 EUR.
Who each suits
FetLife
Who it suits
- Adults who want a kink and fetish community rather than a dating site, as Kink and fetish social network, not a dating site makes clear
- Adults who would rather not pay for the core service, since it is 99.9% free; paid support for nice-to-have extras
- Adults who put data deletion high on their list, given No data sales; deletion erases all your data
Who should look elsewhere
- Readers shopping for a paid subscription with a fixed monthly price and a single market of members
- Anyone wanting conventional matching, since Kink and fetish social network, not a dating site
- People who need phone support, with email, help centre and community offered instead
SexyLib
Who it suits
- Women and couples who can browse and message at no cost.
- Adults who want a swinging and discreet audience rather than a general dating pool.
- Readers who want app access and a clear niche without paying a mid-range premium.
Who should look elsewhere
- Anyone wanting mandatory profile checks, since certification is left optional.
- Readers who want email or phone support rather than community.
- Fans of BDSM scenes, for whom BDSM-baari is a closer niche match.
Current offers
FetLife
Current offer
Discount code
KinkyTease
Linked in site footer with utm tracking; no public terms read
Source, checked September 26, 2026
Country by country
| Country | FetLife | SexyLib |
|---|---|---|
| France | No | Yes |
Questions about each
FetLife
What does FetLife cost?+
Access is 99.9% free; paid support for nice-to-have extras, with paid support kept for nice-to-have extras. The core of the network stays free, so the budget only matters if you want the optional extras. That makes FetLife an easy first step for readers weighing price before anything else.
Is FetLife free to join?+
Yes. The model is listed as free and the service describes itself as 99.9% free; paid support for nice-to-have extras. Paying is optional rather than required, which is unusual in this category and keeps the cost of testing a kink community low.
SexyLib
How much does SexyLib cost per month?+
Premium starts at €4.99 on a monthly basis, and Monthly premium from 4.99 EUR is the only plan structure listed. That sits below the swinger category median of €12.95, so the paid tier is entry level for that market. No annual or bundle price appears alongside the monthly figure.
What can I use without paying?+
Access is free for women and couples, and messaging stays free on the free tier, per Free for women and couples; free messaging. That means a man browsing can send messages at no cost, while women and couples have the whole site without a subscription. Only the premium features sit behind the monthly payment.